All the world’s a Stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages…”
As You Like It – 2/7
So if “All the world’s a stage” what about Age Discrimination?
This question is one I’ve been mulling over a lot recently and particularly when talking to my coaching clients in the work I do.
It’s a fact**, and despite what a multitude of HR professionals/business leaders might tell you, we are all affected by the different stages that we’re at in life and the issues and challenges we face.
Here are some basics:
Figure 1. Adult Life Stages | |||||
Stage | Key Issues | Self-Image | Goal Focus | Relationships | Community |
Autonomy / Tentative Choices
(18 – 26) |
Autonomy vs. Dependence
Tentative vs. Lasting Choices |
Developing sense of personhood as separate from parents and childhood peer groups | Defining self as an individual and establishing an initial life style | Testing out new relationships (e.g., love interests, peer groups, and friends) | Realigning focus from family of origin to new peers and groups |
Young Adult
Transition
(27-31) |
Turmoil vs. Certainty
Settling Down vs. Keeping Things Open |
Questioning sense of self and who/what we want to become | Re-assessing initial life style and making more permanent choices/ commitments | Sorting out and deciding which relationships will become more permanent | Re-thinking and evaluating commitments and connections |
Making Commitments
(32-40) |
Master vs. Apprentice
Permanent vs. Tentative Choices |
Firming up/establishing a more permanent sense of self and who/what we want to become | Deciding a life direction and defining/ aggressively pursuing a dream of what we want to accomplish in life | Making more permanent commitments to love relationships, friends, and peers | Establishing more permanent connections and community ties/ responsibilities |
Mid-Life Transition
(41-48) |
Resolving Key Polarities
Immortality vs. Mortality Constructive vs. Destructive Nurturing vs. Aggressive |
Re-examining realities of projected ego and image vs. true self and struggling to define/accept true self | Questioning the dream whether or not it was achieved and developing a more mature sense of what is really important | Recognizing/ acknowledging one’s own negative, as well as positive, impact on relationships and correcting course for deeper, more authentic connections | Disengaging from group and cultural pressures/norms to re-evaluate and restructure priorities |
Leaving a
Legacy
(49-65) |
Contribution vs. Personal Benefit
Other vs. Self Centered Social vs. Independent Accomplishments |
Letting go of earlier inaccurate ego images and accepting oneself as a worthwhile being with weaknesses as well as strengths | Making the best of the time one has left to help others and leave a positive legacy | Settling into more realistic and rewarding relationships based on recognizing/ forgiving each other’s imperfections as human and helping each other grow | Re-engagement on a deeper, more objective, less driven and more productive, level with family, friends, and society |
Spiritual Denouement
(66 and beyond) |
Hope vs. Despair
Survival of Spirit vs. Mortality Surrender vs. Control |
Accepting self as dependent on a wisdom greater than one’s own, recognizing that wisdom as benevolent, and submitting one’s self and life to that wisdom’s will | Tying things up and completing the development of the person/spiritual being we want to become | Accepting others and recognizing/ respecting humankind’s diversity as part of a greater wisdom’s plan | Recognizing that life is only part of a larger, more enduring spiritual community and helping others understand that |
Click here if you can’t view the above which was taken from yoursoulatwork.com.
Of course, we are complex animals and often we weave our way through this path moving backwards and forwards between “ages”. Sometimes meandering back and re-working earlier stages and the choices we made, as we face unpredictable situations, achievements, traumas, and fluctuating career, family, or interpersonal situations. But generally, it’s fair to say that we all recognise these stages. We’ve all been through them.
And my point is this, to be better leaders and managers of your people. In order to really understand them, it’s key to understand where they are in life, what’s driving them and what they are facing in their different life stages. It’s about kicking the concept of Age Discrimination into touch – or at least putting it into some perspective.
So where are you right now in your life? What challenges are you facing in or out of work that you’ve reflected on differently by thinking about your life in stages? This is powerful stuff and something that so many of us put to one side. I look forward to your your views.
Using this for Coaching Work
Some of you may like to consider using this in your own coaching or coaching work. Here’s an idea of how:
- Consider which Life Stage best outlines where you are today – pick the closest one for each column or more than one if that’s appropriate
- What does that tell you about the choices you have in your life?
- What values or beliefs do you have that are helping you stay where you are?
- What values or beliefs do you have that will help you with your next stage?
- How does thinking about your life like this help you?
- What three (or more) things will you do now?
**For a more in-depth understanding of this area of social research, try googling the writings of Erikson, Levinson, Groeschel, Fowler to name a few…